


looking for a way back home (and they helped me find it)

by gaypanic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Regina Mills Week, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory, The Enchanted Forest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 10:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypanic/pseuds/gaypanic
Summary: Evil Snowing, written for Day Seven of Bisexual Regina Mills Week, favorite polyamory pairing, in which Regina left her relationship with Snow and David, worried about destroying the pure reputation the Charmings have within the kingdom, but she still longs for what they had together.





	looking for a way back home (and they helped me find it)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again to the mods of Bisexual Regina Mills Week! This event has been so fun, and I loved getting to help represent bisexuality through fanfiction, especially with Regina. It's been a fun journey.
> 
> Without further ado... Evil Snowing! (let me know what you think!)

She was sure that the two of them thought she no longer loved them. That she had turned her heart over to the darkness and pit herself against them as a means of rejection.

But really, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Sure, she  _ was  _ considered their enemy now, but she pulled away to  _ save  _ them.

Snow and David were pure. Pure for the kingdom, pure for each other, but too pure for her to be a part of their lives. She would soil the relationship with her darkness. Her reputation would bring war to the Charming’s kingdom, or at the very least, it would change the way their people felt about them. 

In love with the Evil Queen? In a  _ relationship _ with the Evil Queen?  

Honestly, Regina had been  _ shocked _ that Snow had even brought it up, initiated their relationship, and she doubted the woman’s kingdom would be any less surprised than she was. 

So she left. Poofed herself right out of the room she shared with the Charmings, and she never looked back. There had been a bluebird at her window the next morning, clearly from Snow, but Regina closed the window, shutting out the idea of ever returning.

But there was another one the next day.

Then there were two.

Then Snow somehow trained the birds to fly through the fireplace, and Regina couldn’t take it. Her heart broke when she saw how desperate they were to reach her, but they couldn’t know the truth. 

From there on out, she decided that they would only know what the rest of the Enchanted Forest knew. She would no longer be  _ Regina _ to them, no more  _ Gina,  _ no more  _ love _ , no more  _ sweetie-babe _ , no more pet names. She would be  _ the Evil Queen _ .

The next morning, two bluebirds flew into her chambers from the fireplace. She killed one and sent the other back with its brother’s head tied to it’s leg.  _ That should be message enough _ , she thought. And it was.

There were no more bluebirds the next day.

At first she had been relieved, not having to wake up to their annoying chatter, much like she had been when she stopped sleeping with the Charmings and waking up to Snow’s incessant chipper attitude, but then she missed it. Just like she missed Snow’s ridiculous morning giggles or David’s obnoxious snoring.

For the first time since she arrived back to her own palace, she had a completely silent morning.

It sounded as alone as she felt.

No more bluebirds meant they had given up on her.

Had she been too harsh?

More than once, she thought about sending something to them, an explanation or an apology, even just a carriage full of flowers or new weaponry handcrafted just for the two of them, but every time, she caught herself, giving herself a reminder that they had likely moved on, that not everyone deserved happiness.

Maybe that’s why she had to leave. Because love was meant to form in even numbers. Because it could be returned evenly between two, but bring in a third, it would mean choosing a favorite.

She scoffed to herself at the idea. It had never meant that for her, but was she the rule or the exception? 

She couldn’t fathom deciding between Snow or David, it was impossible. She loved how Snow could be so  _ soft _ and kind one moment, but fierce the next, protecting her beliefs with everything she had. And David… David was always making her laugh, making stupid remarks, but every time he had an idea, it was always a good one.

She loved them both equally for their own reasons, and in her mind, the two could never be compared. Loving one was not like loving the other, but even so, the love she felt for them both was the same amount of powerful from the same source in her heart.

Was it the same for them?

They made doe eyes at each other all the time, the love between them was impossible not to notice, but she wasn’t  _ blind _ . She knew they looked at her the same way, but it somehow felt less, and in retrospect, she wondered if her perception was skewed like a self fulfilling prophecy.

A few times she’d been tempted to bring their image before her in the mirror, but she often couldn’t bring herself to do it, afraid to see that they were happy, better off without her. 

There were even less times when she gave in, all three times were in the dead of night when she knew they would be asleep. The first time she saw them, they weren’t sleeping in the large bed the three of them usually shared, and she scowled, about to dismiss the image when she noticed that they weren’t sleeping in  _ their _ room, but hers and Snow’s. The next time, as well as the time after that, they were in hers and David’s room. 

Did they no longer sleep in their own?

Did that mean they missed her?

She almost let herself believe it, but when she caught wind of  _ the royal wedding _ , she fell apart, not leaving her own lonely bed for days, finally pulling herself from it the morning of the wedding. She had to so  _ something _ .

Crashing the wedding should do it.

It was impulsive and rash, and there were too many factors she didn’t take into consideration as she poofed outside the doors and magically swung them open.

The first was that she hadn’t seen them since she left, months ago, and she had no idea how strongly the image of them standing in front of her would tug so hard at her heart.

The second was that they would be nothing but surprised to see her, but when her eyes met both of theirs, they looked equal parts afraid and heartbroken, and maybe even a little hopeful.

The third and the most problematic was that when she opened those doors, not only would Snow and David be watching, the entire kingdom would be too, all of course being invited to the wedding of their new king and queen.

As all eyes turned to Regina, gasping in surprise and murmuring silently to themselves, the Evil Queen was going to need to improvise, but all she could think was  _ what am I doing here again? _

She was going to be menacing and threatening, subtly letting Snow and David know that she  _ wasn’t _ okay with this, and whatever they took that to mean, she was going to leave that up to them, but when she saw them standing there, her heart ached for them, and all she wanted was to join them up there and never leave their sides.

But even if she thought they would let her, and even if she was  _ ready _ for that, there was still a whole kingdom watching, waiting for her to ruin the wedding and the lives of the  _ happy couple _ .

If only they knew.

The only way she could ruin their lives was by loving them too completely,

So she swept past the crowd, knocked out a few guards, and made her threats. It was empty, just a simple thing the made worse by using the right words, some gibberish about the fate of the kingdom being dire and happy endings being out of reach, but she saw couple of villagers quivering in her peripheral vision so she supposed it was good enough. As long as no one could see her heartbreak through the act.

If she hadn’t walked so close to the Charmings, she might have been able to just swing the train on her dark dress behind her and swagger back out, but she was close enough to see the tears starting to form in Snow’s eyes and close enough to hear David say under his breath, “You don’t mean that.”

The  _ Oh, but I do _ was about ready to leave her lips, but she looked back to Snow, and the words fell right from her mouth, and she was left standing there, slack jawed. “Gina, please,” Snow whispered, loud enough for only the three of them to hear. David shifted by her side, stepping as if to make room for Regina, but that  _ couldn’t _ be.

They should hate her by now. If Snow were to pull David’s sword from its holster and point it at her, or if David were to throw it in her direction with the intention of killing her, she wouldn’t be surprised, but instead they moved a little more, as if asking Regina to come to them.

Without thinking, she drifted towards them. She kept thinking that she need to retreat, to scowl and sneer and disappear in another cloud of smoke, but with every thought of doing so, she only inched closer, ascending the steps until she was  _ right there _ , close enough to touch them.

Her eyes moved between the pair in front of her, and she saw her own emotion reflected in their eyes. It was enough of an indication that they had already forgiven her, that they didn’t care why she left, they just wanted her back.

Regina thought about how defensive Snow was over the things she loved the most, how tightly David would grip to the things he found most precious, and somehow it had never occurred to her that they would defend her. They would protect her _. _ They would love her.

She let the outside world disappear, pushing all thoughts of onlookers from her mind, blocking out anything that wasn’t her two loves in front of her, as she looped an arm around David’s waist, tugging his body flush against hers. Snow took a step forward, eased closer by David’s hand on her back, and Regina’s other hand came to rest on Snow’s cheek as she slowly leaned towards her until their lips were meeting, soft as she remembered.

Regina was fine. A little dizzy, but fine, as she held them close and her lips brushed Snow’s, but then the woman kissed her back, and it hit Regina like a shockwave down her spine. Snow had kissed her _so many_ _times_ before this one, but this time, it was raw and desperate, made more evocative when Regina felt a tear colliding with her hand and David’s fingers in her hair, and as she pulled away, a sob escaped. Immediately, she made herself disappear, not bothering to make a grand exit for the crowd.

She was back in her room, collapsing onto the bed as soon as she felt her feet on the floor, crying into the pillow, and sobbing even harder when she realized that it smelled like David.  _ How? _ She threw the pillow against the wall, moving to the next, only growing more upset when  _ that one _ carried Snow’s scent.

Groaning in frustration, she sat up to throw that one too, when it sunk in. She hadn’t gone back to her castle. She’d gone back to her old bedroom.  _ Their _ old bedroom. A gasp escaped her lips as she gaped at her surroundings. She had been thinking of going  _ home _ , and her magic brought her here. 

“Regina?” 

David’s voice broke her thoughts, and she turned to see him and Snow walking towards her, their expressions soft and careful. They reached for her, but Regina flinched back, shaking her head. “Don’t.”

Snow took her hand anyways. “Is that want you want? For us to go away?”

_ No _ , Regina thought, but she nodded her head. Snow sighed, squinting at her just a little as she ran her thumb over Regina’s hand.

“You forget, Regina, we know you,” David said with that stupid crooked smile of his. Regina had to turn her head down just to avoid smiling back at him.

“You also forget that we care about you,” Snow said. “We want you to be happy. If that’s with us, then we would  _ love _ that. But if it isn’t… then that’s okay too.” David nodded in agreement. “Are you happy, Regina?”

She knew the answer already. It was  _ no _ . It was  _ absolutely not _ . It was  _ please forgive me _ . It was  _ I love you _ . But instead of saying any of that, she rushed forward, falling against David’s chest and bringing Snow’s hand to her lips, kissing each finger before Snow pulled her hand back, slipping it around Regina’s waist and leaning her head on Regina’s shoulder. David stroked her hair like he did just moments ago, like he always did when she couldn’t fall asleep, and Regina let him. 

Here they were, blindly accepting her back when she thought she would be better off alone. They ran from the wedding the kingdom had been waiting years for to find her and hold her. To make her feel loved and protected and safe. To bring her  _ home _ .

“Will you stay?” Snow asked, her voice thick from crying, yet so optimistic and eager.

“Can I?” 

Their hold on her was strong and warm, everything she wanted. She hoped they really would want her. She hoped that the kingdom would accept them. All of them. David left a kiss to her head as he answered. “We wouldn’t have it any other way.”


End file.
